But what the fuck. What have I got to lose? I'm fat loser anyway, either way you cut it." No Dan, please, no. Don't ever think that. I love you. I kno... you don't believe that now, but I do. What I did was ... wrong and hurtful and I'm sorrier than I can ever say. I never meant to hurt you. If you have to go, I can't say I honestly blame you, but I'll be here when you get back. I don't want anyone else except my husband. I married you for all the right reasons and I still believe that. I've been. It was a mad house! Brides-to-be everywhere. I walked through the busy aisles and looked at the thousands of dresses on the racks. The store was so busy with so many people that I must have been assumed to be a potential groom or brother of one of the brides, just wandering about. I lost my nerve to ask for a fitting and took a business card from the counter.From the safety of my own vehicle outside, I called the store and asked about getting an appointment. The woman inside asked if the. I kind of enjoyed that because I loved doing it for him but we were no longer ever intimate.One night it all became too clear what was really going on. He brought a friend home, which right away gave me some idea of where the evening was heading. They were both drinking and we smoke a joint. Terry’s friend began to make a move on me and I knew the routine so I played along. Things progressed to the point where we were on the floor and he was banging me pretty good. He had a nice cock and I had. It had said my dad was dead. Killed in Korea. It must have arrived just after I left for school because Mom was still in her nightgown. I had sat on the edge of her bed, too numb to think. Finally, I asked if she wanted a drink.It was just the sort of thing Dad would have done. She sobbed some more, then said yes. I had made her a stiff double shot of rum and Coke, her favorite, then made one for me, too. She had taken it in one gulp, then asked for and downed another.We had talked some, then.
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