C’mon, Rachel, let’s get out of here.” I stared dumbfoundedly at the flustered face of God and the grinning face of Lucy. This had to be a test....Lucy and Jesus planned this ahead of time to test my faith. It must be. There’s no way Jesus was telling the truth…“You should go,” Lucy smiled, patting my shoulder, “you kids have fun.”“OK…” I said, getting up from the chair and taking Jesus’s arm. Jesus walked us briskly out of the restaurant and onto the streets of hell. “Can you believe the balls. ”Husband texts back;“Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”Wife texts back 5 minutes later;“Computer really fucked now.”A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day discussing who had the superior culture.Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics”The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”And so on. In fact I was sure we both preferred it if thay did not know I existed.I changed the subject again when I said I was just a complex guy and explaining was not going to do it. She would have to be here, “to see my world and see my people in it.”That started her on another “miss you” crying jag, plus I seemed to get something in my eye, so it was a good thing I had pulled over for this call.Wait, had I said “see my people?” That was the trigger, when the idea of crowd-sourcing my Darnel problem. It's not the same." She had the odd habit of raising her voice at the end of most of her sentences, making them sound like questions."However," I continued, reaching out for her boobies, caressing their smooth undersides, "if you can overlook my filthy state, I will do my best to meet your needs and try not to get you dirty." I could hardly wait to get at her. Her body seemed to glow with good health and emanate sexual desire. She was truly juicy, panting to be had, squirming in my hands,.
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